- Use lots of spaces.
- Cram everything together without any spaces.
- Align code in arbitrary places.
- Make up really long variable and function names.
- Make up random variable names that don't match the data.
- Make up random function names that hide or obscure the code that is executing.
- Use 1 character variable names.
- Rewrite the same functions a dozen or so times.
- Guess, write some code, toss it out and then guess again...
- Sit around in meetings every day.
- Stand around in meetings every day.
- Avoid all meetings.
- Procrastinate about getting organized.
- Get organized about procrastinating.
- Get clever (monkeys are clever …)
- Comment about the obvious aspects of the code.
- Don't comment about the weirdness of the code.
- Apply a hastily thought-out patch.
- Add in extra lines of code in the hopes that somehow, that will make it better.
- Change everything at the last moment.
- Continuously ignore a serious problem or miscommunication.
- Watch someone else type.
- Write a test for something that would be obvious if it were wrong.
- Write a test for something that ain’t never going to happen.
- Write a test to test if a test is working.
- Re-invent something that has been in textbooks for decades.
- Rely on something that kinda works, instead of spending the time to build something that actually works.
- Take technical advice from non-programmers.
- Ignore domain or usability complaints from the users.
- Ignore the users.
- Yell at the users for not being to use unusable software.
- Assume (pretty much anything).
- Believe in the marketing documentation, without reading the specs first.
- Design an ugly user interface (and refuse to believe that it is ugly).
- Write documentation that absolutely nobody will read and if they did, couldn’t glean any useful information from.
- Make pretty diagrams. Lots and lots of pretty diagrams.
- Build something large without a design or blueprints.
- Build something small and expect it to magically grow into something large.
- Refuse to provide any information.
- Provide too much information(s).
- Wait for the magic to happen.
- Ignore what everyone else is doing, and get super, super, super creative.
Software is a static list of instructions, which we are constantly changing.
Monday, March 28, 2011
How to Waste Your Time While Programming
Fun ways to kill off programming productivity:
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