Would you like Fries with that?

I often run into software developers who have very poor relationships with their users.

I’m sure there are a few users-from-hell out there, but often the users are okay, and still, the relationship is quite bad. That’s unfortunate and unnecessary, and it just contributes to stress on both sides. Mostly, it can be avoided.

The first part of fixing the relationship is acceptance.

The software industry will tell you that you are an artisan, a craftsperson, a magician, or at least super intelligent. From this many software developers come to believe that they should be worshipped. That the users should be thankful for any tiny amount of effort that they make. The developers think they are special, above it all.

But the truth is far less romantic. The users have a problem. It’s a problem that a computer can help solve. So they hired a bunch of people to build things that solve their problems. Those people are highly skilled and hopefully professional, but they are still in their positions just to build solutions for other people’s problems.

In that sense, from the user perspective, while it is different from going to a fast food restaurant and ordering a meal, it isn’t really that different. They ask the developers to solve specific problems, then the developers figure it out, and give them back a solution. The users often fund, initiate, and drive the work; they do have a reasonable expectation of ‘service’.

“PROGRAMMING IS NOT A SERVICE INDUSTRY!!” I can hear some readers screaming.

Well, it is not entirely a service industry and there are certainly programming jobs where there are zero service components, but since most software is used by people to solve their problems then most of it has significant service components. We deliver features, it’s built right into our job descriptions.

I know it is very hard to accept that, but accepting it is the first major step to not having a contentious relationship with the users.

If the users suddenly want you to make some quick hacks to an existing screen that seem unnecessary to you, you probably should not say “would you like fries with that?” but you should definitely think it. It will put the conversation in the right frame for you.

Now in no way am I recommending that you just blindly do whatever crazy thing the users want you to do. You don’t need to take them literally.

Often their “solutionizing” is just the way they are trying to express some aspect of their problem to you. You need to see through what they are saying to what they actually need. When you do see it you should feel free to redirect them to better solutions, ones that fit better into the overall context.

In that sense, if you have engaged with them and listened to their problems, you can help lead them in a more positive direction. But you still have to solve their problems.

Saying “no!” or “I’m too busy...” isn’t just rude it is also self-defeating. Making up some lane excuse isn’t any better. Even if you don’t know what is driving their desires, they are still expressing a need, and you have to spend some time figuring it out.

Extreme candor isn’t necessary, but you need to be honest with people for them to believe you. If they believe you, they will eventually trust you. And if they don’t trust you, they certainly are not going to take your advice; things won’t go well.

Of course, if you fix this, it will be way better in the future, but you still need to always treat them with respect.

You want to stick to just the facts, be as honest as you can, and rephrase stuff into their terminology. You want to let them know what is happening, but not make excuses. If there are good, viable, options you can present them, but if not, don’t phrase it as a question. If there isn’t a choice don’t offer one. If you don’t know something, admit it. If someone got sloppy, admit that too. It’s okay to say “that release didn’t go as planned” instead of pretending that it worked.

We’re not perfect and some things that seemed easy turn out to be brutally hard or impossible. If you're honest and they trust you, they’ll appreciate you letting them know. Not everything, and not to blame other people, just more of an understanding with them.

You know that it is your job to provide usable solutions to their problems; if they know that too the respect will be mutual. And that will erase a lot of unnecessary stress and give you the ability to concentrate harder on your work. Just don’t forget to ask a lot of questions, they do understand their problems a lot better than you ever will.